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Not all sex is penetrative sex, and introducing a strap-on into your play is absolutely not a must

Ready? Lick your way up and the down https://hookupdate.net/alt-com-review/ the labia. "At first, avoid direct contact with the clit because it may be too sensitive, and instead lick around it," suggests Stubbs.

Now, have fun. Vary the pressure. Spell your name in cursive with your tongue (seriously, it works). Move your tongue in circles. Then move it side to side or up and down. As you experiment, pay attention to how your partner is reacting. And ask them what they like. "Do you prefer this or this?" or "Fast or slow?" When it starts to feel good, you'll know.

Strap On, Strap Off

In fact, "not all vulva owners enjoy penetrative sex or will feel comfortable experimenting with a strap-on," says Melendez. "And that's okay! That's why you need to have an open dialogue with your partner."

If you both want to try strap-on sex, it's going to take a little foresight because you'll need a harness and dildo (and lube!) on hand. In case you haven't yet gone dildo shopping: Like vibrators, they come in all different shapes and sizes. Some are super phallic and have veins and are skin-toned while others are sparkly or rainbow and less reminiscent of a penis. (More here: The Best Sex Toys for Women On Amazon)

"Start with a silicone dildo (as opposed to glass) because it will move with your body," recommends Melendez. "If you can, go to a sex shop because most stores will let you touch and feel them before you buy them." And start small. Don't let your eyes be bigger than, well, your vagina. "Focus on the girth and think about whether or not you like feeling full, or tend to be tight," she suggests.

There are all sorts of harnesses too. "For your first harness, I recommend one that's adjustable and that a lot of different body types can use," says Melendez. (For example, you can get more coverage with a boxer-style harness, but may find you have more control when you use a strap-style harness.)

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Dangerous Liaisons: are folk carrying it out on line?

Chief Conclusions

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